It's Just The Way It Is
by TabB
Summary: When Julian tells Logan his feelings, Logan knows he doesn't reciprocate them but will he someday? Rated T for language and minor sexual themes.


**A/N: Something that came from a short drabble I began, using Adam Lambert's song 'Whataya Want From Me'.**

**Hope you like it! *throws cookies before sailing away on a Gondola***

**Review if you do? Or don't even... :)**

* * *

><p>"Tell me why you've been like this," Logan slammed Julian against the wall, enraged, "we're supposed to be friends!"<p>

"We are friends you idiot," Julian replied calmly, refusing to fight back.

"Then why won't you tell me anything?" Logan's voice was dangerously angry, enough to alert anyone who happened to be nearby.

"Because Logan, I don't have to tell you everything."

"Oh really? You seem to tell Derek," he spat at him bitterly, "are you in love or something?"

"Oh yeah, because you'd know all about love wouldn't you?"

"Wait," Logan's grip loosened slightly, "you love Derek?"

"No you dick," Julian managed to shove Logan away, stepping out of his grass, "I do not love Der- ew. I mean just, no."

"Then what it is?" he asked calmly, before his voice suddenly grew louder, "what aren't you telling me!"

"It's none of your fucking business Logan!"

"Yes it fucking is," he replied through gritted teeth before turning away from Julian and punching the wall causing himself to swear loudly.

Julian gaped, "what the fuck Logan! Sometimes I wonder..." he trailed off, shaking his head.

Logan swiveled around to stare at him, "wonder what? How you're obviously in love with Derek but you can't admit it?" he asked in a mock childish voice.

"I am not in love with Derek for fucks sake! God knows how many diseases he's go-"

"Are you in love with someone?"

Logan's voice had unnervingly returned to it's normal state, even possibly slightly softer. Julian's silence confirmed the question.

"So that's it? You're in love with someone and you thought you couldn't tell me... why? Are they at Dalton or something? Aww, is poor princess scared of coming out to the media?"

Julian took a step forward to Logan meanicingly, "you know nothing."

Logan laughed, "oh please, if anyone knows that situation here, it's me. Who is it then? Kurt? You two have been a little more civi-"

"It's not Kurt."

"Blaine? I'm telling you Julian, do not go the-"

"Fucking hell Logan, stop guessing!"

"Bail-"

"It's you, you prick!" Julian had yelled before covering his mouth with his hand, realising what he'd said.

Logan froze, "w-what?"

"Fuck," he swore in undertone, "nothing- I said nothing."

"Yes, you did," he replied, staring at him in shock, "you- you love me? But why?"

"Fucked if I know."

"For how- how long?"

"Long enough," Julian muttered, hoping to avoid the conversation.

"Tell me how long."

"Since the first day of Freshman year, ok?" Julian shook his head and laughed, "I know, stupid isn't it? You're an arrogant asshole and so fucking ignorant and yet, I can't - look Lo. I'm sorry, ok? I never meant for you to find out. I'll just go, yeah."

"Don't go-" Logan started to say, but Julian had already spun around and walked out of the dorm room, trying to subtly wipe a tear away from his eye.

Logan slumped against the wall. Julian? But Julian had always been his friend. His very, very straight friend. Well, obviously not, he reminded himself. He run a hand through his hair, and hit his head against the wall, "fucking great."

* * *

><p>Derek stepped into Julian's room the following morning to see the actor completely packed, looking around the room.<p>

"You're leaving?" he asked, barely surprised.

"Logan found ou-"

"And you're running away instead of dealing with it, I can see that"

"Fuck you Seigerson."

Derek laughed, "wow, I'm so terrified. Look, I know your car that's picking you up doesn't get here until later-"

"And how would you know that?" Julian interrupted, resting a hand on his hip impatiently.

Derek raised his hands, "hey, don't question my knowledge."

"Fine. What do want then? A touchy feel-y goodbye? Because no offence Der, but I don't like you that much.

"Ok," Derek replied, rolling his eyes, "one, you're not leaving-"

"-yes, I am-"

"-two, if you were, the goodbye better be touchy feel-y otherwise I might think all these years of friendship meant nothing to you-"

"-you know that's not true-"

"and three, we have an assembly-"

"-which means nothing to me-"

"-and you're going."

Julian quirked an eyebrow, picking up the shoulder bag that rested on the bed, "oh, am I now?"

"Yes."

"Not gonna happen, sorry."

Derek stepped forward and pulled the bag off his shoulder, throwing it back where it had been, grabbing Julian's arm and pulling him out of the room.

"What the- Derek! What the fuck do you think your doing?" Julian complained, trying to pull himself out of Derek's grip.

"Look princess. If you want to leave, fine. But at least go to this assembly. I think there'll be something you want to see."

"Oh, I highly doubt that," he mumbled but stopped struggling, because there was no denying he wasn't slightly curious as to what could possibly be happening at the assembly though he doubted it was anything important.

Derek shoved him into a seat, "sit, and don't you dare think about walking out."

"I'm sitting, I'm sitting. Sheesh."

The assembly ran like any other, awards were given to students, mentions of certain pranks (where the principal happened to glance in the twin's direction) and a performance from a couple of members of the Warblers. When the principal walked on stage (a sure sign he was about to give the final address), Julian shot Derek a glare.

"Oh yes," he mocked sarcastically, "this was so worth the attendance. My, if I wasn't here I would be tragically upset and sober."

"Shut u-"

"Before we close this assembly, we've got one more, err, performance for you all. It's a little unorthodox, but we know how much you all enjoy the voice stylings-"

"Stylings. Who the fuck calls it- ow!" Derek elbowed Julian in the ribs and motioned for him to be quiet.

"-familar with, Logan Wright."

Julian blinked, staring at the blonde boy who walked out on stage who looked more nervous than usual. Derek smirked, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair.

Logan tapped the microphone, taking a deep breath and putting on one of his classic stage smiles, "so, uhh, this performance is a little different for me but I found out something yesterday-" Julian took a sharp breath, "- and I think I need to say something to them so this is for them, and I know they know who they are. Just please," Logan's eyes scanned the crowd for Julian and he locked eyes with him, causing Julian to shrink in his chair slightly, "listen. Carefully."

Logan pulled the microphone from the stand and nodded to the side, giving the cue for the music to begin. He smiled at Julian briefly before looking down to the floor and beginning to sign.

_Hey, slow it down_  
><em>What do you want from me<em>  
><em>What do you want from me<em>

He glanced up at the crowd, who were looking at him intently. This was not the sort of music the Stuart prefect usually, or ever, sung. The Tweedles wore identical grins as they watched their Knave begin to sing.

_Yeah, I'm afraid_  
><em>What do you want from me<em>  
><em>What do you from me<em>  
><em>There might have been a time<em>  
><em>When I would give myself away<em>  
><em>(Ooh) Once upon a time<em>  
><em>I didn't give a damn<em>  
><em>But now, here we are<em>  
><em>So what do you want from me<em>  
><em>What do you want from me<em>

His eyes had scanned the crowd, looking at everyone except the actor who was now watching him with rapt attention. The way he stood, slightly nervous on stage, the way his voice came out through this song. Logan finally turned to look at Julian, making eye contact and nodding slowly, as he moved into the chorus.

_Just don't give up_  
><em>I'm workin' it out<em>  
><em>Please don't give in<em>  
><em>I won't let you down<em>

Logan grinned cheekily, his confidence heightning slightly and he pointed to Julian on the word 'you' before walking along the front of the stage but not breaking eye contact.

_It messed me up, need a second to breathe_  
><em>Just keep coming around<em>  
><em>Hey, what do you want from me<em>  
><em>What do you want from me<em>_  
><em>_What do you want from me_

Logan looked at Julian again, refusing to take his eyes off the actor know. His grip on the microphone tightened as he smiled at him faintly. He could tell he was listening, and he was glad. He needed to listen.

_Yeah, it's plain to see_,  
><em>that baby you're beautiful<em>  
><em>And there's nothing wrong with you<em>

He looked up at the ceiling, blinking his eyes a couple of times which caused Derek to snort in laughter watching his two best friends act like this. Julian, still staring, and Logan actually tearing up. He rolled his eyes, and continued to watch the song, where Logan had turned back to Julian.

_It's me, I'm a freak._  
><em>But thanks for loving me, <em>_  
><em>_Cause you're doing it perfectly_  
><em>Yeah, there might have been a time<em>  
><em>When I would let you slip away<em>  
><em>I wouldn't even try but I think<em>  
><em>you could save my life<em>

Logan shook his head to himself, amused at how true the words really were. The thing with Blaine, then Joshua, and now Kurt. He still loved Kurt, he wasn't going to deny that. And, although Julian hadn't been there as much as everyone else, he had been a constant in his life. Always there if he needed him. Now he guess he knew why.

_Just don't give up_  
><em>I'm workin' it out<em>  
><em>Please don't give in<em>  
><em>I won't let you down<em>  
><em>It messed me up, need a second to breathe<em>  
><em>Just keep coming around<em>  
><em>Hey, what do you want from me (What do you want from me)<em>  
><em>What do you want from me <em>  
><em>What do you want from me (What do you want from me)<em>

He stopped signing as the break in the music happen, his eyes fixated on Julian who wore an odd expression. Julian shook his head slightly and stood, ignoring the eyes that followed him as he walked to the door, pausing when he got there.

_Just don't give up on me._  
><em>I won't let you down.<em>  
><em>No, I won't let you down.<em>

The actor looked at Logan, and smiled faintly. He mouthed the word _goodbye_ and slipped out of the door, letting his fingers trail along it. The whole audience sat in silence, Derek's face in his hands. Logan threw the microphone to the ground, ignoring the fact the music was still playing, and stalked off the stage, running his hands through his hair.

"Well, that was uhh..." the principal walked tentatively to the stage and picked up the microphone, "Logan Wright everybody?"

The audience blinked, not exactly sure how to respond to that. Suddenly a large cheer came from the Windsor's direction and everyone turned to see two identical blonde boys standing and applauding. They indicated for their friends around them to copy and soon enough everyone was clapping. Although, most were clapping slow and awkwarding, unsure of what they at just seen.

* * *

><p>Logan stormed into the backstage area, ignoring the clapping from the audience. <em>Fucking great<em> he thought to himself, kicking over a chair in anger.

"Someone has a temper," came a voice from behind him and he turned to see Julian leaning against the doorframe, sunglasses perched on the bridge of his nose.

"Jules- I didn't- I- fuck"

"How very eloquent of you," Julian pushed himself of the door frame and walked over to the taller boy, smiling softly at him, "you're not a freak, you know that?"

"Oh, yeah sure. I'm not on meds for anger, and I only ever fall for guys I can get, that right?"

"That doesn't make you a fre-"

"- why are you here Julian? You said goodbye to me just then. In front of the whole fucking school, might I add."

"As opposed to obviously singing a song _to me_ in front of the school? Hmm, yeah. I can see why you'd be annoyed."

"Why?"

Julian sighed and half shrugged, "because I couldn't leave without seeing you one last time?"

"You make it sound like we're never going to see each other again."

"Well, probably 'cause we're not."

"But, I don't want that."

"I know," Julian nodded and smiled fondly, "I know. But you do not need me here right now. Just, you've got way too much on your mind right now."

"Bu-"

"Look, Logan. I love you, ok? You know that. Fuck, I love you like-"

"-if you say Romeo loved Juliet I swear I'll-"

"-Snape loved Lily."

Logan blinked, "oh. I just- I don't- love you like that."

"Yeah, I know. Trust me, I know. And, the song, it was amazing. _You_ are amazing but you what I want from you?"

"What?"

"I want you to take some time for you. Stop chasing guys around. Realise that you're worth so much more than that. Just spend some time on _you_."

Logan crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows, "I am not going to a day spa or getting a manicur-"

"You dick, you know that's not what I meant."

"Yeah, I know," he replied back in a soft tone Julian had never expected to hear from Logan, "I - I just don't want you to go."

Julian smiled, wrapping his arms around the taller boy and pulling him in for a tight hug. He bit his lip to try to stop himself from crying as he breathed in Logan's scent for what he was sure would be the last time. As he pulled back, his let his lips brush over the blonde's cheek pressing a soft kiss there. He stepped back, his hands stills on Logan's arms and smiled.

"You have gorgeous eyes Logan."

"Julian! Jus-"

"Goodbye Lo," with one last final wave at his friend the actor stepped out of the room, letting the tears fall free as he broke into a run out of Logan's sight. Logan, who stood shellshocked for a few moments, slumped into a chair, letting his face fall into his hands. He would never admit to crying in that moment.

Not to Derek, who came running looking for him twenty minutes later.

Not to Kurt, who continued to talk to Logan after Julian left.

Not to the teachers who constantly exchanged worried looks between them for the week following.

Well, Logan wouldn't admit a lot of things to a lot of people. He would of never admitted the crush (however minor) he'd had on Julian the first time they'd met. He'd never admit the one or two times he'd woken up after a dream with Julian, finding himself in need to change his sheets. And one thing he told himself he would _never_ admit to anyone, was falling in love with Julian after he left.

Logan Wright never was one for admitting things. But one time, in the future, there would come a time where he would admit something. And it would benefit him immensly.

* * *

><p>"Is this seat taken?" the tired blonde turned to glance at who had spoken, his eyes widening instantly.<p>

"J-Julian?"

The actor grinned resting a hand on Logan's shoulder and squeezing it gently, sitting down in the empty seat, "the very same."

Logan smiled and glanced down at his nearly empty drink, "you said we'd never see each other again."

"Oh come on," Julian scoffed, "it's been three years. I saw you over here and I thought I'd say hello. If you have a problem, I can leave?"

"No!" Logan replied a little too quickly, chuckling awkwardly, "I mean, no, stay. How you been?"

Julian quirked an eyebrow, "a strange question to ask someone whose entire life is in the media."

"It is?"

"Funny," he muttered, nodding in thanks as a drink arrived, "real amusing."

"I meant, how are _you_. The person behind the media."

Julian shrugged, "I'm ok. Tired from filming the remake of Mary Poppins-"

"-I heard about that, congrats."

"It's terrible."

"... oh?"

"Nothing like the original. Nobody can live up to Dick. Not even me."

Logan laughed dryly and took the last sip of alcohol that remained in the glass, wincing as he did, "too bad."

"How about you?"

"I- uhh, I'm studying law."

"Law? Really?"

"Yeah," Logan shrugged, idily fiddling with the button on his jacket, "made sense for me, don't you thi-"

"-no, I don't think that. You're only in law because of your father."

"Perhaps. You're only in acting because of your parents."

"Touch_é_"

Logan sighed, "Dalton was good though, right?"

"Definitely," Julian nodded, turning away from his drink to smile at Logan. The two stared at each other for a moment before one, or both, moved forward pressing their lips together in a desperate kiss. Logan's tongue slid along Julian's lips, and he parted them. Their tongues danced against each as Julian growled, pushing Logan back into the bar roughly.

Logan pulled back grinning, "we're in public."

Rolling his eyes, Julian stood up and glared at Logan, "bathroom. _**Now**_."

The blonde wasted no time in questioning Julian, simply got up and followed him into the bathroom and pushed Julian into the stall slamming the door behind them. His lips attacked Julian's neck, teeth sinking in and dragging across the skin.

"Ngh... Lo, what-"

"Shh..." Logan dropped to his knees in front of Julian, keeping eye contact with him as his hands worked at the other's pants, "don't you want this?"

"Fuck yes," came the reply, "but we can't - _oh_."

Logan had tugged Julian's pants down enough to ran a finger along the obvious buldge in his briefs, "then why not?"

"Because, Lo-" Julian fisted his hand into Logan's hair and tilted it back so he was looking at him.

Logan grinned, "you haven't changed."

"No, I haven't," Julian emphasied, "we can't - I still - I still love you Logan."

"I know."

"Then why- what?"

"I love you too Julian, I have for a long time."

Julian laughed, "are you really that desperate to get into my pants?"

"No, I'm not joking. Look Julian," he pushed Julian's hand away and stood up, resting a hand against the wall and leaning over him, looking into his eyes, "when you left, I loved Kurt. I was madly in love with him. But- I just, knowing you weren't coming back. Knowing I might never see you again. Fuck, I opened my eyes. You'd be there from the beginning. It always should have been you. Excuse me for wanting it to be now."

"Do you really mean that?"

"I really do," he pressed their lips together in a chaste kiss before smiling, "now, where were we?"

"You were about to suck my cock."

"Always the charmer," Logan muttered, rolling his eyes, "but yes, that's precisely what I plan to do."

* * *

><p>"Logan?"<p>

"Yes beautiful?"

Julian smiled, "you still make me blush whenever you call me that."

"That's no good, can't have you blushing on camera when people calling you beautif-ow! What was that for?"

"I only blush when you say it."

Logan smiled at Julian, whose head was resting on his chest, with Logan's arm around his back. He thought back to Dalton. The time they first met. Their friendship at Dalton. He thought back to all the arguing the two had done in high school. He thought back to when Julian told him, when he'd walked out and when he'd sung at assembly. He remembered falling in love with a boy that he thought he would never see again, and he remembered the bar. He remembered the bar like it was yesterday.

"What are you think about Lo?"

"You."

"Only good things I hope?"

"Nope, both good and bad things."

"Oh?"

"Mmhmm, but that's what makes us so great. Because we weren't one of those couples that met and instantly both fell in love with each other like Kurt and Blaine. We didn't have sexual tension for years before making out in a closet and freaking out, like Dwight and Ethan. Though, they're a really cute coupl-"

"-well," Julian said interupting Logan, "I did fall in love with you when I first met you, and you can't deny the tension was the-"

"Julian, shush. My point is. We were one of those couples that were meant to be. It's just the way it is."

"I didn't know you believed in fate."

"I didn't. Until I fell in love with you."

Julian smiled, "tonight was lovely. Perfect way to celebrate fifteen years of marriage."

"The tablecloth caught on fire-"

"-still lovely-"

"-the wine was warm-"

"-it was delicious anyway-"

"-and I was late."

"Better late than never my love."

Logan pressed a kissed into Julian's hair, "so much better than never."

"I love you Logan."

"I love you too Julian."


End file.
